Sunday, February 27, 2005

Ralph-to-tha-izzalph Goodale Delivers the Federal Budget

Since the 2005 Federal Budget had nothing for students, I thought I'd make it releavant to "the young people of today" and took the liberty of running Ralph Goodale's speech through gizoogle. This is what happened.

Finance Brotha Rizzay Goodale receives a spendin' ovation as he prepares ta table tha federal budget in tha Hizouse of Commons on Parliament H-to-tha-izzill in Ottawa on Wednesday . Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. (CP / Tom Hanson)

Budget speech

Canadian Press
February 23, 2005 5:41 PM ET

OTTAWA — Follow'n is tha complete tiznext of Nigga Riznalph Goodale's budget speech ta tha Hizouse of Commons . Chill as I take you on a trip.

Mr like old skool shit. Speaka, let me begin by express'n mah appreciation ta all those who have helped in tha preparizzle of this 2005 federal budget -- from tha mizzle organizzles n professizzle groups tizzy presented expert briefs, ta Canadians from every brotha of tha country who submitted individual letta n ideas.

Their contribizzle they counsel n they concerns have helped shape tha budget I am tabl'n today. I would also like ta thank tha Wanna Be Gangsta of this Hizouse -- fizzle all sides -- who have provided they advice n insights. In particizzles I want ta acknowledge tha vigorous representizzles of a playa of government Caucus Committees n tha specific input of Opposition Finance Critics -- tha Honourable Memba fo` Medicine Hat, Saint-Hyacizzles n Winnipeg North fo' real.

The Ability ta Makes a Difference

Recent events have reminded all of us of tha increasingly interconnected world in which we live like a tru playa'. J-to-tha-izzust two months ago, thugz in Ukraine launched a peaceful but profound ''range revolizzles Tizzle demonstrated fo` democrizzle reform, n then C-to-tha-izzast they ballots in a genuinely fizzle election on Decemba 26th . It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

Our brotha Prime Minista, tha Rizzay Honourable John Turna, led more than 500 Canadians who volunteered ta hizzle ensure that tha process was ultimately fair n lawful fo' sheezy. All of us -- includ'n thousands of Ukrainian Canadians -- is proud of tha rizzle Canada was able ta play at a crucial moment in tha life of T-H-to-tha-izzat bootylicious nation, half a world away.

Sadly, tha same day Ukrainians went ta tha polls, our attention was wrenched frizzom tha celebrizzles of democracy ta tha tragedy of tha tsunami in South Asia ya feelin' me?.

On that day, as one eyewitness described it, ''the sea stood up n walked ta earth.''

Wit every pass'n hizzy n every pass'n dizzle tha list of casualties G-R-to-tha-izzew, tha extent of tha damage increazed n tha enormity of tha tragedy became painfully crazy ass nigga kniznown.

In its aftermath, Canadians responded wit remarkable generosity. And in they actions, we saw tha bitch of our country n' shit. Young children going door ta door in they neighbourhoods. Canadians fizzle every province n territory mak'n donations large n small ta support thugz they do not know in places they might brotha see in tha hood.

Relief organizzles n faith-based groups mobilized resources n translated noble intentions into practical help on tha ground. We applaud all tha wanna be gangsta in all those agencies, wizzle in doing so much good abroad, honoured tha values we cherish here at home n shit.

In this budget, Canada's comprehensive $425-million assistance package fo` tsunami relief is confirmed as promised -- as Canadians would F-U-Double-Lizzy expect.

In tha fiznirst two months of this year, Canada has also assisted in tha conduct of difficult elections in Iraq n among tha Palestizzles. We hizzy continued our humanitizzle engagements in places like Haiti n across Africa to increase tha peace. We hizzy helped ta keep tha peace in Afghanistan n Kosovo. We have provided tha poorest countries of tha world wit greata dizzebt relief n tha resources ta eradicate polio.

Actions tizzle makes a difference. Actions that reflect Canadian values at work globally...... MORE